dear joyah

Dear Joyah

Menyendirilah sewajarnya -Umar Bin Khattab-


i know its absurd or too silly to say this..i guess.. that's what im trying to do now
I'm sorry i did not write to you for days.. ive lost my words somehow..

I was looking around.. and then i saw something .. and im not sure of what i saw.. i know u would be mad at me..as i only see it on the surface..and not wanting to explore deeper ..or stay put to understand the whole scenario..

but it seems clear to me .. i guess

and i dont wanna be in a way ..

Joyah, can i just stay in my hiding place? can i refuse not to go back the battlefield?

i dont chicken out that easily..but i can see the whole thing clearly when im out here..and i dont know if its just an illusion just to cover things up..or is it reality..its too perfect ..makes me think that im not meant to be in it.

Thats why i step back..because i dont know about anything anymore..because i only understand on what i saw..and no one even want to explain it to me..i know im okay..but its weird....because all of sudden..my heart ran away.

*numb*

Joyah .. what have i become?